What I’m Letting Go to Make Room for Softness

Why choosing ease over endurance is the most radical step I've taken yet

On Wednesday, I shared that I made one of the hardest decisions of my creative life: to slow down the pace of my podcast after four years of publishing three episodes a week. I promised I’d share more about the story behind that choice, what I’m letting go of, what I’m grieving, and why softness still won.

Here it is.

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Letting Go of the Hard Way

For me, the hardest part of slowing down wasn’t just logistical, it was emotional.

There’s an ego payoff in doing things the hard way, in being the person who can outwork and outproduce anyone. There’s recognition. There’s a quiet vanity. People say, "Wow, you did over 400 episodes in under three years?" And there’s a moment of pride.

There’s also comfort in the grind. That rhythm of pushing, of staying in motion, becomes familiar. Even when it hurts, even when it costs you, it’s easier to keep moving than to sit in the discomfort of unfamiliar softness.

And then there was the fear—real fear. Slowing down could potentially mean losing two-thirds of my podcast audience. That’s not just numbers; that’s real income, real people, and real momentum.

But I chose to stop anyway.

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What Surprised Me When I Did

I didn’t expect what came next.

The breath came back first. My body, my nervous system, my creativity all exhaled.

I felt gratitude toward myself. I felt my optimism return. Even though I knew the risks, I felt proud for choosing differently, for choosing me.

There was space to think again. Space to create again. I could finally return to the broader vision of Black Girl Burnout, not just as a podcast, but as a movement.

And I was able to take stock of everything I’d already built: the thousands of subscribers here, the almost 2 million downloads, the growing community on Instagram, the incredible people who have supported this work.

For once, I slowed down long enough to really see it, to be proud of it, and to be grateful.

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What I Want You to Know

If you’re still deep in doing mode, if you’re afraid to stop, here’s what I want you to hear:

Yes, softness has a cost. But it costs far less than pushing through.

Sometimes, we overfunction to avoid what silence might reveal: a relationship that needs mending or ending, a truth we haven’t wanted to face, a body that’s been asking for care.

We fear the discomfort of stopping will break us. But it won’t. And even if it stings for a moment, the peace that follows is deeper than you expect.

The discomfort will pass. But the joy, the clarity, the breath, the creative energy, that will stay. That will expand.

And most times? You gain back more than you lost.

That’s the beauty of softness. That’s why it still wins.

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A Reflection for You

What are you holding onto that’s costing you softness?

What could you set down, not to give up, but to come back home to yourself?

Pause with that. You’re not alone in the unlearning.

Softness is waiting for you, too.

Here are three things to consider if you're thinking about slowing down but feel unsure:

1. Be honest about what it’s really costing you.
Is it your sleep? Your peace? Your health? Your ability to enjoy what you've worked so hard to build? Start by naming the toll. What feels 'normal' might just be what you've gotten used to surviving.

2. Get curious, not critical.
If the idea of doing less makes you anxious, ask yourself why. What are you afraid you’ll lose? What are you afraid might surface? And is that fear actually protecting you, or just keeping you stuck?

3. Practice one soft shift at a time.
You don’t need a total life overhaul. Choose one thing to release. One expectation to lower. One rhythm to soften. Let that be enough for now.

These are not fixes. They’re openings. And they’re how we begin to live a new way, one that honors your capacity, your peace, and your worth.

You're allowed to go gently.

Your Invitation

If this reflection resonated with you, I’d love to hear what you're letting go of to make space for softness. Share in the comments, forward this to someone who needs it, or take five minutes to journal your soft shift.

If you haven’t yet, listen to the latest podcast episode, Softness Is the New Rich: Choosing Ease Over Exhaustion, where I go even deeper into how softness is not a setback but a return to self.

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