You Deserve to Play: Why Active Rest Is a Healing Practice for Black Women

There’s a lie many of us have internalized: that rest is earned and play is indulgent.

But what if play isn’t a reward after the work is done? What if it’s the medicine we need to keep going, joyfully, creatively, and with deep emotional resilience?

This week, I want to reframe how we think about play. Not as something childish or extra, but as a powerful healing tool. As Black women, we are carrying so much: career pressure, caregiving responsibilities, and cultural expectations. We’re taught to be strong, to push through, to hold it all together. And while strength has helped us survive, play helps us thrive.

What Is Active Rest?

Active rest is a form of joyful, non-productive play that restores your energy without requiring you to be still. It’s the dance break in your kitchen. The walk around the block with your favorite playlist. The 10 minutes of coloring or doodling that brings a smile to your face.

Active rest doesn’t ask you to produce, perform, or be perfect. It simply asks you to enjoy. And that kind of enjoyment is deeply healing.

The Science of Play

Research shows that play reduces stress hormones like cortisol (which many of us have in chronic overdrive) and boosts endorphins, our natural feel-good chemicals. It enhances our ability to solve problems, adapt to challenges, and regulate emotions. Play increases creativity and gives our minds space to generate new ideas.

And here’s something the science is clear about: your best ideas don’t come when you’re grinding. They come when you’re walking, daydreaming, dancing, and delighting. They come when you’re playing.

Why Black Women Need Play the Most

We are among the most overworked, under-recognized, and overstressed demographics. Black women experience disproportionately high levels of stress, chronic illness, and inadequate healthcare. Play isn’t just nice to have. It’s necessary. It is radical self-preservation. It’s resistance to the systems that would rather see us exhausted.

So what if the antidote to some of the burnout and overwhelm wasn’t just rest, but playful rest?

What if your joy is the strategy?

A Personal Story: Giggles, Grief, and Comedy

I remember at the peak of one of the hardest seasons in my life. my parents were sick, I was exhausted and running ragged, and I had just been diagnosed with shingles from the stress. In the midst of it all, I went to see Hasan Minhaj's comedy special in DC with a friend. We had dinner, shared jokes, and for the first time in a long while, I allowed myself to giggle. Really giggle. His stand-up was both hilarious and deeply moving. I laughed, I cried, and in that moment, I felt like a kid again. That night was more than just a fun evening; it was restorative. It reminded me of how healing joy can be, even when the world feels like it’s falling apart.

How to Start: Build a Joy Menu

A Joy Menu is a list of small, playful actions tailored to your energy. Here’s how to create yours:

Low Energy Play (5 mins):

• Listen to a nostalgic song

• Doodle or color a small picture

• Watch a funny video

Moderate Energy Play (15 mins):

• Take a walk with music

• Stretch or do yoga

• Bake or cook something just for fun

High Energy Play (30+ mins):

• Go dancing

• Visit a museum or park

• Play with your kids or nieces/nephews (and join in!)

Personally, I’ve been feeling the pull to reclaim coloring and impromptu dance parties. I loved dancing growing up. My parents used to wake us up on weekends to the sounds of Motown, Earth, Wind, and Fire, and Alexander O’Neal. Cleaning the house felt like play. My dad, who passed on his love of music to me, used to dance in the silliest way. Honoring him through joyful movement, through twirling and dancing in my living room, feels like reclaiming a part of myself I never meant to lose.

The goal isn’t to check a box or do it perfectly. It’s to remind your nervous system that joy is safe. That pleasure isn’t a distraction; it’s a healing practice.

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Make This Personal: Let’s Reflect Together

We’ve covered the science, the soul, and the strategies, but now it’s your turn to pause and reflect. Take a few moments to answer these questions (and feel free to share in the comments):

• When was the last time you felt truly playful—and what were you doing?

• What beliefs about productivity or adulthood make it hard for you to prioritize joy?

• What’s one playful thing you’ll say yes to this week, just because it feels good?

This space is for you. Drop your reflections below. Let's build a softer, more playful life together.

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A Note on Substack Support

This space will always offer free support, stories, and strategy.
But when you become a paid subscriber, you help me continue creating high-quality, soulful content for Black women navigating burnout, ambition, and rest.

It’s $8/month. Less than a fancy latte.
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And I’m so, so grateful.